The Situationship Starter Pack

There are two types of people in this world.

The ones who “go with the flow”… and the ones who end up crying in an Uber because they went with the flow.

I’ve been both.

Because the thing about modern dating? Nobody actually wants anything “serious” until 2:17 AM hits and suddenly someone’s texting you like you’re the love of their life. And that’s when it happens, you start building an emotional home in a space you were never invited to live in.

But what if we did this differently?

What if instead of walking into every “hey you up?” like it’s a marriage proposal… we treated casual connections the way they are supposed to be treated:

Like dessert.

Fun. Delicious. Not your entire meal plan.

So consider this your official Situationship Starter Pack, the things you need to keep it cute, keep it safe, and keep it hot without getting haunted.

 

1) One toy that makes your life easier

Some people try to “wing it” with pleasure like it’s a DIY project.

No.

Pleasure is not a group assignment.

A good starter toy is like a good perfume: it should match your vibe and boost your confidence immediately. Something simple, body-safe, beginner-friendly, and most importantly, something you won’t be embarrassed to keep in your nightstand.

Because nothing says “I’m grown” like a toy that looks expensive even when you aren’t.

 

2) Lube (yes, even if you think you don’t need it)

Let’s be clear (pun intended): lube isn’t optional.

It’s not an insult.

It’s not a diagnosis.

It’s not “too much.”

It’s comfort. It’s protection. It’s smart.

 

3) Rules of engagement

Situationships don’t fail because people are evil.

They fail because people are vague.

So let’s do the three rules that save you from delusion:

• If they only text at night, treat them like nightlife.
• If they refuse to plan anything, stop providing access.
• If you feel confused… that is the answer.

Your intuition never lies

 

4) A “post-link ritual”

You know what gets ignored in hookup culture?

The after.

Not the cuddling part (though… love that too), but the part where your body needs to reset back into you.

Your ritual could be:

• A shower + body oil
• Clean sheets + candle
• A comfort show
• A “do not text them” playlist

Because comfort might not always come from them.

Sometimes it comes from you, looking at yourself in the mirror and remembering:

“I am not easy to forget.”

5) The reminder that changes everything

You don’t have to audition for intimacy.

You don’t have to earn affection through availability.

And you definitely don’t have to pretend you’re “chill” if it hurts.

You can want what you want.

You can keep it casual.

You can keep it sacred.

You can keep it sexy.

You can keep it yours.